Friday, June 29, 2012

CASHLESS BANKING STORIES??!!

I have been thinking of this issue for some time ,the idea sounds great but we all know that for every good idea there is that probability for pitfalls and thumb downs.Any way it comes I'm a fan of the revolution and i wish the Nigerian government a massive acceptance of the programme from Nigerians.


In the Morning.....
AT THE IYA ALAKARA'S PLACE
(I enter the place .Iya alakara is multi-tasking:frying and selling akara simultaneously)
Me:Akara N100(one hundred naira)
(She wraps the akara in newspaper and hands it over to me)
IYA ALAKARA :Owo(Money)
(I search my pocket and hand to her my ATM card)
IYA ALAKARA :Kini eleyi(What is this ?)
Me:This is ATM card u just put in your POS machine
IYA ALAKARA :Abeegi wetin be all this grammar on top N100(one hundred naira) Akara give me my akara back
(Two hours later my Facebook Status:"Terribly Hungry")
*AKARA is a Yoruba word for Beans-cake
*IYA means mother in Yoruba
* IYA ALAKARA means the woman that sells beans cake


Afternoon.....On my way to Hustle
THE DANFO EXPERIENENCE
Conductor:Agege!!!!
(I run to catch up with the bus)
Conductor:Enter with your change o
(I check my pocket and i say to my self "Aal Is Well")
Conductor:Oya your money
Conductor:(Turns to me)Oga u neva pay
(I open my wallet and hand over my ATM card to the conductor)
Conductor:Wetin be this
(Don't ask me what happened afterwards)


Night...
//So after a rough day I felt like cooling off at the my favourite Suya Spot in town



(Mallam doing his thing ,my eyes caught the sharp edges of his knives,the knives were glimmering and shiny)
Mallam:Oga good evening
Me:Thank you
Mallam:How much suya you want tonight
Me:N500 (five hundred naira suya)
(Mallam packs the suya and hands it over to me,so I sat down there and ruminated over the escapades of the day,Before I knew it the suya was finished so I stood up to leave)
Mallam:Oga you never pay
(I searched my pocket and could only find my ATM card,All I could think of as I slowly handed the ATM card to Mallam is RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*suya-roasted meat


#lagos #cashless banking
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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

If this was Jamb.......!!!!!

EXAM 2012

 Answer all questions.
 Note:-Calculator or any other electronic devices is not allowed.
Time:-1hr:30mins only.
SECTION 1:-
OBJECTIVE
 1.What is the name of the first Igbo boy that opened shop at Alaba international market?
 (a) Don jazzy (B) Anyim Pius Anyim (c) Gov. Peter Obi


 2.Who addressed herself as a widow while her husband is still alive?
 (a)Jonathan Patience (b) Turai (c) Stella


3.Who Strike pass?
 (a) Boko Haram (B)Thunder (c) ASUU (d)Patience Dame


 4.You can sharpen cutlass on Banky's head
 (a) True (b) false (c) I don't know


 5.What are the names of the two people holding hands when you power-on a Nokia phone?
 (a) Charly Boy and  Denrele (B)Ryan Giggs and John Terry (c) OBJ and IBB


 6.If the past tense of take is took, the past tense of make is
 (a) Mook (B) maked (c) make
n

 7.I have a dream is to Martin Luther King as I have no shoes is to …..
(a) GEJ (B) IBB (c) OBJ


 8.What is the plural form of GARRI
 (a) garris (B) garried (B) garium


 9.If Adekunle Chukuwma Ciroma Finally Passes WAEC, will she write JAMB next year?
 (a) No (b)Yes (c) That's no business of mine


 10.Which University has the highest no. of babes that travel to Dubai for 2weeks and return with British accent?
 (a)EBUs B)UNIJOS (c)UNIABJ (d) MAULAG



11.Name of the decade
(a)Maulag (b)Phcn (c) Airtel


12.Gaint of Africa
(a)South Africa (b)Nigeria (c) Ghana 


13 Which of these is the best project

(a)Nitel (b)Ajaokuta steel rolling 



14A fool at 50 is  (a/an) _____ ______
(a)fool/forever (b)fool/now (c)idiot/now




SECTION 2:- THEORY
 Attempt all questions.
 1a.Differentiate between Do or Die and if I don't win the next election their will be blood shed.
 B.If it took GEJ 50years to trek to Aso rock without SHOES,how long will it take if he was putting on
SUPRA
 2a.Using Quadratic Formula,
 calculate the diameter of Banky's head (take♊=3.14)


 B.If your X-Boyfriend or X-girlfriend Wins N100Million Naira In The Glo WINBIG Promo 2 Days After you Broke Up! FIND X! 


 3a.If Ada is a girl, and Obi is a boy, who is Adaobi?
 

b.What are the surnames of the three statues that welcome you to Lagos? 

Monday, June 18, 2012

Intro

This is where I'll be publishing my thoughts and findings on various aspects of my life.You will see posts on programming(php and python) ,web design and a whole lot of stuff.#random

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